Read What Colleges and Universities Say about Todd's Work

Friday August 20th and Saturday August 21st were busy days for New Beginnings here at WSC. Todd Denny provided an informative, humorous, sometimes musical, interactive presentation of issues related to violence, sexism, racism and homophobia at New Student Orientation.

Todd focused on the issue of non-stranger rape(sometimes referred to as acquaintance, or date rape) Todd really framed this as an issue where guys are a key part of the solution, especially in moving towards a rape free environment here at Wayne State College. Todd’s 90 minute presentation Friday evening called on our new students to take a proactive stance to alleviate violence on our campus, to watch out for themselves but more importantly to watch out for each other and to speak up or step in to prevent assaults and violence from happening.

Todd also provided Endless Opportunities on Saturday for our RA’s and other campus counselors and student services providers to learn more on how to deliver this message to all sectors of campus life, and also how to more effectively respond to persons negatively impacted by these behaviors and incidents.

One of the cool things Todd did Friday evening was solicit responses from the male and female audience members. Everyone had the opportunity to write down on index cards, blue for males and yellow for females, what they would tell or want members of the other gender to know about the issue of relationships, sexuality and sexual assault. The evening ended with one of our Peer Educators and one of the Ambassadors sharing some of the messages. Time didn’t allow for everyone’s to be read, so we are including them here for you to read.

Written statements from the men:

• “Not all guys are bad!”
• 826-0610
• “You Rock!”
• “I’m shy come to me!”
• “Most guys are respectful & considerate. But fewer are responsible.”
• “Girls can be rude, not all guys are jerks. So treat us right”
• “Not all guys are out to just get laid.”
• “Every guy is not out to get sex.”
• “Just because I have a penis doesn’t mean that all I want with you is sex.”
• “Not all guys are bad, we can actually be nice.”
• “When attending parties women should be careful on the amount of alcohol they intake”
• “bad behaviors”
• “Not all guys share their sex lives”
• “You cannot rape the willing”
• “Not all guys are alike”
• “Not all guys are out to get you.”
• “Some women that are intoxicated shouldn’t wear inappropriate clothes.”
• “Do not assume guys do not have feelings because they don’t talk about them.”
• ” Why is fat a big issue when dating”
• “Guys can be just as respectful about sex as women.”
• “Men can control themselves”
• “Guys have feelings too! and girls aren’t always right.”
• “I think sex changes everything.”
• “Being kicked in the nuts?”
• “Sexist views go both ways”
• “Not everybody uses alcohol or violence to get sex.”
• “Don’t treat every guy like a Rapist. A lot of them are true gentlemen”
• “Not every man is out to ‘get a piece of ass’, some want a real, loving relationship.”
• “I think there is a double standard for guys regarding rape”
• “Not all guys are after sex.’
• “Not all guys are sexist pigs”
• “Guys can be just as fragile as women…”
• “Always stay in a group of friends if you chose to drink. People you trust.”
• “I feel you go out with all the jerks.”
• “Stay safe and be smart.”
• “We’re not all that bad, we respect you more than ourselves”
• “Not all guys want to have sex before marriage”
• “I have no idea what to write.”
• “Most guys are OK you can even talk to one of them if you need to.”
• “Not every guy is or will be a rapist.”
• “Guys don’t want to always ask out”
• “Not all men are after the same thing”
• “Not all guys are assholes!”
• “Ladies if you don’t want us to look at you like you’re a whore then quit wearing a whores uniform because that shit is confusing.”
• “Not all men are losers”
• “I DO respect you”
• “Carry pepper spray”
• “NOT ALL Guys are rapers”
• “Guys can be trusted”
• “Not all guys are bad people & in many cases the man is intimidated by the woman.”
• “I feel men are put as only ‘bad’ guys.”
• “I feel that many men have taken great strides to improve the respect that men give women.”
• “Even small jokes can hurt think before you speak!”
• “There are guys on this planet that will listen if you ever need to talk.”
• “We have feeling too! Men cry too.”
• “Give us a chance, there are good guys out there!”
• “Guys are not all out to have sex”
  “Be confident in yourself, and don’t be pressured.”
• “I’m sorry”
• “To Female ’X’ Sometimes you should think about your actions because we can take it the wrong way. (leading on)”
• “Not all men are rapist!!!!
• “Not all men are asses. There are ones who are the ‘nice, sweet guys.’ If you don’t have a boyfriend like that you shouldn’t have a boyfriend.”
• “Get to know the guy before you get involved.”
• “Beware of your surroundings and stick up for yourself.”
• “I won’t rape you”
• “Be yourself don’t try to act like somebody who you’re not just to impress the guy. Guys like straight forward women.”

Written statements from the women:

• “Our chests are not our faces we have eyes!”
• “No means no, learn how to take a hint!”
• “If you give a compliment mean it! Tell us that we’re beautiful!”
• “Why do you think you need sex all the time sex isn’t everything”
• “You don’t understand that girls that are a little overweight have feelings too.”
• “Women are not meat so respect them”
• “Girls are more than looks they have personalities too.”
• “Girls want to know you like them for who they are”
• “When girls say NO it means NO, not try again in 5 minutes”
• “No means no. She’s not joking”
• “Keep your hands to yourself when you’re wasted”
• “I don’t understand why guys think that they have all the power when it comes to relationships”
• “No means no!”
• “ If a girl says no, she usually means no”
• “Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I want to have sex”
• “Not every girl wants to be sexually active”
• “Respect me and don’t try to use me”
• “NO Means NO!”
• “If a girl is considered a Ho when sleeping around then a guy should be considered the same”
• “Why can’t you guys stay with a girl when she wants you to wait for sex.”
• “Be careful how you are around us you don’t know what has already happen to us. And what we are comfortable with.”
• “We are a person, not objects”
• “Women need respect”
• “We are vulnerable and not as strong as you! and it is scary”
• “We care more about the person inside than outside”
• “Just because a girl doesn’t “put out” or make out with a guy, doesn’t mean she’s prude. Give her a break.
• “just because a girl has a bad reputation doesn’t give you the right to treat her like crap”
• “When a girl says no, she means it”
• “You need to ask before you have sex. Don’t take control.”
• “Respect us for who we are and what we stand for.”
• “No means NO!”
• “NO means NO”
• “Girls will not always have sex with you even if you are all sweet & romantic one night.”
• “Most women want love, not sex.”
• “Most women seek virgins, not “experienced” guys! I do.”
• “Remember, you won’t explode.”
• “Even though I may act like “one of the guys” with you, I am NOT a guy; I am a girl.”
• “ We all – Men and Women have Nipples”
• “Just because I am petite does not mean I can’t protect myself from sexual assault or rape.”
• “LOOK AT MY FACE NOT MY BREAST”
• “Think with your right head!”
• “Bragging about sexual experiences isn’t cool.”
• “Bragging about sex & sexual partners isn’t cool.”
• “Respect “NO””
• “Bragging about the girl you did it with isn’t cool”
• “ Men: Please, we look to you for safety, don’t make that change.”
• “Girls have emotions. Pay attention because words don’t always reveal a girls intentions.”
• “Be respectful of our choices & accept them – don’t force anything”
• “We all humans not objects.”
• “Not all girls sleep around”
• “You need to understand that you should respect a woman for her values.”
• “Let her decide when she’s ready.”
• “Girls don’t always want to go all the way w/you if they are flirty.”
• “Girls have the ability to be powerful and strong.”
• “All guys need to understand that girls do not want SEX all the time! We weren’t made that way.”
• “Dating is not a game…It’s our hearts & emotions that are being pushed around”
• “If I wanted my ass slapped or my Boobs grabbed I would do it myself!”
• “Whats really important? You shouldn’t judge people by how they look.”
• “Why must you call us BAD names? - it’s not nice”
• “Women need to be respected”
• “Girls aren’t airheads they do know what is going on”
• “Some girls really want to just be friends… nothing more.”
• “Women are much stronger than most people give them credit for”
• “I think it’s unfair when guys say girls aren’t allowed to play”their”sports. If we can do it; Let us!”
• “Being “DRUNK” is never a good excuse for anything! “
• “Why do most guys have to be in it for sex?”
• “We don’t always want sex like they do.”
• “Sorry it seems like your always to blame”
• “ Kids come from sex – no matter how well you know your partner use protection.”
• “ Walking alone in the dark is scary”
• “ I think males don’t understand how hurtful their derogatory comments can be.”
• “ Why are sexual actions always or at least 90% on your mind?
• “Step up and be a man of God. Godly men know the right morals, So why is it so hard for men to have a strong faith?”
• “We have a right to stand up for ourselves and express our feelings. Don’t tell us to “pop a Midol””
• “ If in a relationship where sex is happening – don’t feel that when you want it you get it.”
• Hey Guys – “most girls like it when guys don’t feel like they have to”prove” their masculinity.”
• “Dancing with you at riley doesn’t mean I want 2 have sex w/you.”
• “No means No.”
• “We are all people, we aren’t objects! We have feelings too.”
• “ Not all girls want to have sex all the time.”
• “Don’t judge people by the way they look or dress.”
• “Don’t judge by how we look or dress”
• “- Don’t force a girl to have intercourse”
• “Women are worth more than you think. We can do a lot more than make babies & clean the house.”
• “Women are not objects”
• “Is sex really all guys think about?”
• “I am more than just an object to look at”
• “” No doesn’t mean yes.”
• “I don’t know “is a NO!”
• “Don’t push it.””
• “Sex is not ‘good’ unless feeling are shared. We must have a connection.”
• “Just because a woman dresses sexy doesn’t mean they want to have sex”
• “You need to understand that sex is more than an act. Emotion plays a part”
• “Remember girls get jealous when you want something to happen with another girl.”
• “Think before you act, how your actions will affect you and the others around you.”
• “When we say no we mean no! we aren’t trying to tease you.”
• ‘Understand that we have feelings, and everything said to us affects us.”
• “Remember not every girl in the room wants to hook up with you.”
• “Respect our decisions!”
• “I’m tired of a promiscuous women being labeled a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore,’ whereas a man with just as many partners (if not more) is called ‘the man’ and congratulated and praised.”
• “Women are not possessions”
• “Having sex is more emotional for girls than it is for guys.”
• “I miss my boyfriend back home – So when I tell you I have one – leave me the HELL alone!”
• “Sex isn’t everything!”
• “Women are not objects or possessions. We are human beings that have rights, emotions & feelings too.”
• “We are women. Women are people. We may not be as strong, dominate or aggressive as you, but we are people. Treat us with respect: not as objects. Thank you!”
• “Be more respectful when dating, as in respect her wishes”
• “I am a person. I breathe, think and eat just like you so respect me”
• “Not all girls are easy”
• “ Women can do the same type of job a man can do.”
• “No MEANS NO! Don’t have sex to be a man.”
• “Good things will come to those who wait and have patience and respect”
  “Not all girls are sluts”
• “Just because we drink to get crazy and drunk, doesn’t mean we want to have sexual activity.”
• “Just because women drink doesn’t mean they want and can be taken advantage of.”
• “pressuring women into sex is wrong and manipulative.”
• “I am worth it!”
• “Girls really strive to get guys attention, we really take comments to heart.”
• “Be nice even if we are not. We have mood swings”
• “Just because we are women doesn’t mean we can’t do things men can do.”
• “Respect our choices, never pressure us”
• “Girls know when you’re getting cheap feels.”
• “How girls get harassed about breasts!”
• “Why girls get so emotional”
• “Listen to us we aren’t talking to the wall!”
• “Show Respect”
• “Some girls aren’t always PMSing!”
• “Not all girls think sex is an important part of a relationship.”
• “Abstinence is about being strong and the want to give your husband or wife all you possibly can.”
• “Just because we are mad or irritable dose not =PMS”
• “Listen to women when they say NO and when to back off.”
• “Just cause we dress ‘sexy’ doesn’t mean to take advantage or force!”
• “Though you may love someone, you need to know when to stop if pursued by a girl.”
• “Just because a girl has multiple partners doesn’t mean she’s a slut.”
• “Girls and women aren’t property to be owned but instead people who deserve the very best respect!”
• “Guys if you want to ask a girl out, do . The worst we can say is No.”
• “Why do you feel like you have to have sex all the time. Sometimes is fine but there are other things to do. Women are more than just sex.”
• “We should throw rocks at them : )”
• “Think with the head on your shoulders not the one in your pants”
• “When someone says No they mean NO”
• “Don’t thrust your hips into my butt when dancing at Riley’s”
• “You don’t understand periods!”
• “I would like 2 wear something sexy w /o hearing a sexual remark. If my clothes show skin, it doesn’t mean I’m a slut.”
• “Don’t brag about how many times you had sex & who you had sex with. It’s really sick to know.”
• “You shouldn’t think that acting all manly isn’t the best way to go A lady would consent readily if he was sensitive.”
• “They shouldn’t judge ya by how you look.”
• “Angry, moody does not mean PMS’